As I write this, I am sitting in a sun-filled house near Pecos, New Mexico. Literally sitting — as in house-sitting and cat-sitting — for the season. I am in the perfect place, at the perfect time. Taking a much needed break from a life (my life) that was not working for me anymore. On this lovely Winter Solstice Day, I feel a sense of coming out of the darkness in more than just the physical sense.
Lots of changes have happened in the last (almost) 2 years, some of it good, some of it, shall we say, “challenging?” I will spare you the gory details, other than to say I moved back to Victor (alone) in the summer of 2018. After some months of emotional turmoil and soul-searching, I am finding solace and contentment in my own company. Maybe that was long overdue.
The house-sitting job has been a Godsend in the sense that I have the next 3 or 4 months to clean out the mental and emotional clutter and pull myself together. I’ve only been here a few weeks, but the light is beginning to shine on my soul again and I feel more clear and sure that I am going to be just fine.
So much for the dreaded “Dark Night of the Soul” and all that.
There has been an absence of balance in my life. Too much pushing to paint, paint, paint, whether or not I had anything to “say”. Production over process. No wonder I was losing interest. I know buried somewhere inside, there is still an artist’s VOICE fighting to emerge. This feels like me trying to birth a new version of myself.
Until I know what that looks like, I guess I will be in labor…
Rita Cirillo's Great Art Adventure 